During the day, the last several charts of reading "Yellow Face" didn't make me feel much relatable for it feels like I'm reading the same thing over and over again, even though stumbling upon the inside story of the publishing industry sort of intrigued me unexpectedly. Yet, I couldn't bear the narration of the white protagonist projecting her self-value onto Asian stereotypes. I understand what the author is trying to convey but it's just been too tedious to get through.
Immigrant mentality is more pervasive and multifaceted than I thought, evident not only in "Crying in HMart" but also in "Stay True" and various NYT short stories, all of which have shaped me, and will be intertwined to shape me. Each narrative is a personal journey worth sharing.
This year, my theme is "Becoming." Amidst my quarter-life crisis, I'm embracing to become unapologetically myself. I'm glad that reading makes the world scrutable to me, and writing makes me scrutable to the world. In some ways I do not have to be an Asian girl who stereotypically comes off as timid and reserved as I'm living my life without reservation on all accounts. I, flew across the Pacific Ocean with my baggage and the 21-year-old self, encountering and overcoming ignorance and stereotypes along the way.
Lastly, let me share a quote I like recently: "I know a taste of the uncertainty that my father, with his thick accent and expired visa, knew. And I can imagine, too, the giddy power my father must have felt upon moving to America in the '90s to discover that McDonald's was now the stuff of everyday. Cheaper than fish, more accessible than fresh fruit, simpler than a long-distance phone call to Beijing in which he felt compelled to hide his difficulties, his loneliness and alienation.”